My just released novella, Dream, explores the life of Veronica Armatti, a married, infatuation addict. Infatuation addiction falls in the same category as food addiction, sex addiction, love addiction and other addictions that are normally a healthy part of life. What's the difference in, let's say, being infatuated with someone and being an infatuation addict?
The infatuation addict lives to be engulfed in the titillation and newness of an affair. It's an escape away from problems--those buried deep, and those as simple as a feeling anxiety. When times are tough, the best way for an infatuation addict to distract themselves is with a new lover.
What's wrong with infatuation, you might wonder? This question can be asked in regards to all of the addictions listed above. The answer. Nothing...when experienced in a healthy way. When food, sex, love, infatuation are a means to "fill up" the emptiness within," are out of control or are acted out even when the addict doesn't want to--it becomes problematic.
Those without addiction often have difficulty understanding how something other than drugs or alcohol can be addicting. Physical addiction like that of heroin or methamphetamine often can be understood. We've all seen withdrawal on TV or in the news, and understand the horrors of it. But what about if that addiction is something that we do in ordinary life.
An excellent example of this is food addiction. We need food to eat. We have to have it to exist. But what if you couldn't stop?If your need for food is out of control.
These are the people who sneak, lie, hide their their eating. Especially when surrounded by those that say, "Why don't you just stop?"
Although not physically addicting, withdrawal in other addictions can be as physically and emotionally as grueling is withdrawal from crack cocaine. The fear of the deep pain we carry always lies waiting until withdrawal.
An infatuation addict myself, I spent many days in bed, physically knotted and emotionally drowning while trying not to "act out." Relief was just a simple phone call away. What harm? Ask any of my ex-husbands.
It's like having a huge hole in your soul and trying to fill it to no avail. For after finally getting a"fix," the ritual repeats. The initial desire to act out, the mounting pressure, the edginess, the sickness and finally, the acting out. Momentarily filled, it 's not long before the need starts to build again.
So the bottom line is this. Addiction is addiction. Withdrawal is withdrawal. No matter if the drug is oxycotin or sex.. Without the fix, the addict will suffer.